And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
