Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
