i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
