you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
