you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize