Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
