i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
