You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
