Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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