im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
