well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
