Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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