cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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