Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize