clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
