Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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