They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
