I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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