Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
