I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
