If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
