Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
