i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm just crazy horny about you
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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