Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
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Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
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The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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