Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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