Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
