Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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