I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
