Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
