This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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