so that wasnt chicken after all
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
