whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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