So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
