love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Couch. On fire.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
