Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
being pregnant is like rehab
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
