It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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