I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
