you guys were way drunker than both of me
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
