I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think people are normalizing furries
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
