The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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