They should really pass out barf bags in church
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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