is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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