I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just high enough for therapy.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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