soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
