It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just tell him i said nine months
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
