Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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