3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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