discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
