why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
