i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
