it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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