he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
