Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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