Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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