They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
