i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
