ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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