I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
