I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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