Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
