I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
