You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
