Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
