So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
