i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
