Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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