I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize